So I am surrounded by the most brilliant people in India and can you guess how does it make me feel?
Its a biter sweet feeling, bitter because the level of inferiority complex I used to feel has reached a totally new threshold; sweet because in the long run, I am definitely becoming smarter day by day.
But hey! Ever considered the gap between this situation? Let me tell you what happens.
Staring blankly at people when they talk high-funda science, well not exactly blank all the time, but yes I have a few moments when I am playing cross and nuts on their faces. Then comes the point when you have to show that you really are not dumb, you have to ‘pretend’ to understand it by basically nodding or agree with a hum. Then you have to summarize the meeting cause you are the fucking in charge. Could life get worse? Subtly. If I loose my eyesight or limbs or something as bizarre as that.
After a complete breakdown and feeling the optimum level of worthlessness, I stare at my room wall. If I were a designer, I would have splashed some colors and added synchronizing origami figures. But I am a scientist, working in a physics department, all design should mean to me is the waves in different frequencies. The white of the room starts to bore my vision and I look away, I decide to put some solution to it. Of course I cry.
I decide to plan on my solution, instead of going into utter depression, lets find a way out. I have time to study physics from the scratch, and considering that I am a biologist I can flaunt some basic laws of neuroscience and genetics till I can reach to a point where I can process and reciprocate their Feynman language. Physics has always been in my hate list thanks to my horrible high school teacher. But lets add some love to the hatred. Let me try to love physics.
For now, let me Google search every possible thing about the basics of physics. It is fine if my search history reads the words “Physics for dummies” , Desperation for knowledge is good. Always.